There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. There are no
massage parlours with ice-cream and free jewellery.

- Jerry Seinfeld -
Life is good and bad.
Mostly and.

- Diogenes -
Whenever I hear someone sigh, "Life is hard", I am always
tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'

- Sydney Harris -
The western world is full of people who laugh at African
witchdoctors and spend $100 million dollars on fake diets.

- L.L Levinson -
Some days you're the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.

- David Brent, The Office -
My new line, 'In fifteen minutes, everybody will be famous.'

- Andy Warhol -
Eighty percent of success is showing up.

- Woody Allen -
Life's a rollercoaster. Eat a light lunch.

- David Schmaltz -
The trouble with words is you never know whose
mouths they've been in.

- Dennis Potter -
Any man who cannot visualise a man galloping on a tomato is an idiot

- Andre Breton -
In the future, computers may not weigh more than 1.5tons.

- Popular Mechanics (1949) -
If the heart could think it would stop beating.

- Fernando Pessoa -
I always skate to where the puck is going, not where it's been.

– Wayne Gretsky –
My formula for success is dress British, look Irish, think Jewish.

– Murray Kofler –
I'm a dyslexic Satanist. I worship the drivel.

– Linda Smith –
Don't piss on my back and call it rain.

– Yiddish Saying –
The length of a film should be directly related to the
endurance of the human bladder.

– Alfred Hitchcock –
The computer can’t tell you the emotional story.
It can give you the exact mathematical design,
but what's missing is the eyebrows.

– Frank Zappa –
If you gonna fall apart, do it in your own bedroom.

– Margot Kidder –